Sommertime - A Tribute to My Sister
By Nunu
My friend told me that the hardest part about writing a tribute to someone who has died is having to talk about the different versions of that person, so everyone close to them can recognise their memory and people can connect to their story. The beauty with my sister is that Sommer was consistently the truest version of Sommer.
If you knew Sommer, or even just met her once, you could see and feel her full force. She was Sommertime, a very British Sommertime with all the seasons at once. You'd feel the storm, but you would always feel the warmth, and you would eventually see the sunshine.
My Uncle Phil told us a story which pretty much 'soms' up my sister. When Sommer was two, Laila, who is our older sister, had been getting pushed about and bullied by a neighbour's child over toys which upset Laila... Sommer stood up, dummy in mouth, toddled over to the boy and with one talon like nail on her finger, scratched his belly and drew blood. Sommer then toddled back to play, smirking behind her dummy. Obviously, parental chaos ensued afterwards. My sister was 'ride or die' from the beginning, if she cared for you she would have your back regardless.
I don't have many childhood memories of me and my sister together, Sommer was 7 years older than me, I wasn't cool and I just remember watching her and adoring her from the sidelines.
She seemed to be the best at everything. Or at least was good at pretending. She played football for Hastings, my brother Adam said ‘she wasn't even that good at football’ and any goals she scored were all by fluke.
Although Ibiza was home for my sister for many many years, she was originally the Queen of Hastings, she was crowned Hastings Carnival Queen! I can't remember which year however, I do remember the awful lilac dress she was wearing and more importantly, I do remember her being egged during the carnival procession, which is one of my funniest memories of my sister.
When I finally reached secondary school at St Richards, I immediately realised how loose the shoes were that I felt I had to fill and I wasn't ready then and I am definitely not ready now.
Our PE teacher Mr Malone, who she loved, told me he would call her ‘foghorn’ as he always knew when she was close by. You'd hear Sommer before you'd see her.
Sommer went on to become a teacher herself, her love, energy, empathy, and vibe was felt by the children, parents and the staff throughout the schools she worked in. It was more than just her job, Sommer made every child her responsibility to nurture, she was the 'Miss Honey' and every child she had taught, she saw the potential Matilda.
Sommer will be that teacher that when those children have grown into adults, they will remember. To reference Henry B. Adams, A teacher affects eternity; you can never tell where Sommer's influence will stop.
The influence my sister had on me will also never end. It is impossible to talk about my own life without ever mentioning Sommer. She paved my way, she encouraged all my life experiences for the better, and definitely for the fun, she always showed me the best time with the most beautiful souls that she collected around her, my sister’s friends to her, were her family and they immediately became mine too, she taught me what friends are and has always been my biggest cheerleader. My promise to my sister is to 'Be More Sommer'
What is it to ‘Be More Sommer’?
Sommer was the voice of doom! But, would simultaneously light up the room. Sommer was direct, sometimes rude, but she was kind and caring and more importantly honest. She was funny, she was dark and nearly always right. She wasn't the nicest person all of the time but she was the best wholeheartedly good person and we are forever going to feel this void.
One of the most annoying things about my sister was she always made me leave parties early. She said ‘leave on a high, leave when it's peaked’ But this time she left the party too early, she hadn't peaked, she was just getting started. And I'm more annoyed than ever!
Without Sommer, I do not know who I would be as a person.
She has been instructing me in life from when she realised I had the potential to be cool.
Sommer took me to Ibiza in 2007 and took me to DC10 for the first time. Her exact words were
'it's proper techy it's too busy, you won't be able to go to the bar or the toilet, you'll hate it but you will have the best time' she was right! We danced all day and danced in circles at the end to Whitney Housten 'I want to dance with somebody' and I knew then, Sommer was that somebody I always wanted to dance with.
She told me I had to come back the next year and do the season, which I did with my best friend Melissa and where I met the love of my life Louise. If it wasn't for Sommer the best years of my life may never have happened. From there I created a circle of my own true friends. Who Sommer, then absorbed too and this was the catalyst to our famous game... which we have made everyone play at some point… Who is your favourite Amari?
I mean… it was always a close call but most of the time depending on her mood we all knew it was Sommer. We even did a poll last Christmas which was slightly rigged as it was on Sommers Instagram but she did win. And it did cause one of the many arguments. But now... by default, I do have the number one spot. Every cloud…
The hardest part about Sommer’s death and more devastating than all our grief combined is that Sommer was taken from my niece, her 6 year old Daughter, Betty. They were two peas in a pod always together, always on adventures, always being nurtured, always poured with love.
Being Betty’s mummy made Sommer so proud, and they had a bond like no other. Sommer described Betty as brave, clever and determined and said she was so excited by all the adventures they shared. Everyone admired the mother daughter bond that they had and Sommer could often be heard at the morning school drop off saying positive affirmations to Betty like “you are kind, you are loved, you are beautiful.” I however, remember Sommer also saying ‘Stop being annoying’
Sommer and Betty are so alike it's uncanny. When Betty used to be naughty and get angry with me, all I would see was Sommers face in her and I would love to punch her. Recently she was getting angry with me and I would see Sommers face and I just wanted to cry and cuddle her, but all she wanted to do was shout and punch me and I hope it's because she can see her Mummy in me. I would let her punch me forever.
Over the first few days in hospital with my niece after having to tell her that her Mummy is dead, I made some promises to her. Promises I knew I could keep and what Sommer would have wanted. They centered around truth and honesty, her favourite foods Mummy would make and the last promise was actually Betty's idea, she told me Mummy was so kind and we had to help poor people, she said, if they saw people sitting on the street and they were sad, Mummy would give her money to give to them and it would make them happy. So we promised together we would always be kind and make people smile.
I also promised her that we will always laugh and have fun. Hearing her laugh for the first time after the accident was the only time I felt it was all going to be ok.
They truly were the best of friends. Sommer’s legacy will live on through Betty, she will grow up hearing all of the wonderful stories of her magical mummy.
Sommer,
Missing you is going to be a prolonged agony but everything you gave us will help us move forward, you are forever in our souls, in every song and on every dancefloor.
None of us know what happens after we leave this life but we still feel you. Betty pointed to the sky, she said it was the north star, but I think it was actually Mars, she said you were there with Nonna and you were looking after us, she said you are now nocturnal, which I think you taught her. You were never that good in the morning anyway.
Wherever you are, there is bound to be fun, laughter and mischief. I know how happy you'll be knowing how miserable we all are. You got our attention Sommer, well done.
We love you Soms.